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Absolute Zero

Even the polar bear club would be cold in Korea. How cold is it? Take a bucket of ice cubes, throw them down your pants, then sit in your freezer - now you've got Korea in the fall. The devil himself is weary of wintertime Korea for fear that it could freeze hell over. The upside to this is you get to experience the joys of the ice age. Worst of all is the wintertime Korean bathroom, for it has neither heat nor hot water. Did I mention used toilet paper here is often not flushed, but stored in a basket adjacent to the toilet? The Korean bathroom really questions your need to use it.

Hangul Man

Beer Story

Learning to read the written Korean language, or Hangul, only takes a matter of hours. Once you can read it, though, you find that your efforts might have been better served learning to make smug faces when you pretend to understand it. You see, Hangul is very often English in disguise. It is common for Korean-English (Konglish) words to be written in English on signs. Why did you bother learning Hangul in the first place? Back to the mirror to practice your smugness. Three guesses as to what the Hangul in the above sign says...

Gulliver's Travels

Maybe Godzilla was inspired by post-WWII Japan, or maybe he was inspired by giant Westerners walking around east Asia. If you are taller than 5’8”, then you are one of the biggest people in Asia. To be fair, there are tall people here, but they are the minority. The older Korean population, in particular, is short…many tower around 5’4”.

Korea! Bonus Mid-Week! Apartment!

The front door

The Korean Dream. Life in a compact hi-rise apartment with your immediate family and your giant black Hyundai which you drive blindfolded. Your children live with you until the day they are married, at which point you will give them $4000-$10,000 for a deposit on a compact apartment of their own. I don't know how accurate any of that is, but it's on the Internet now, so it's true.

Korea! Week Two!

Korean Frosted Flakes

There are literally hundreds, maybe thousands, of websites dedicated to what you should pack when coming to Korea. Most of these sites contain incorrect or outdated information, like most of the Internet. Here's the definitive current list for what to bring to Korea:

Diet Coke

Korea! Week One!

Have you seen those commercials for Korea Air? Elegant, impossibly clean airplanes soaring through dreamlike clouds? Supermodels apparently hired as flight attendants? Korea is exactly like that! Except the opposite!

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